Monday, December 3, 2012

Nail Chewers of the World:

All you nail chewers, finger biters, gum smackers, lip chompers, and those of you who just make annoying sounds all of the time, this is a message of peace from us misophonians:
All we ask is that you stop.
Cease and desist.
I'm sure it is very satisfying for you to snack on the finer bits of your fingers--we don't deny you that right. Just please, PLEASE lady on the bus, I beg you student I'm to tutor, I kindly ask chick in my math class, that you just keep your nasty habit to your bedroom.
All your nasty habits, actually.
And you, gum chewer at the pulpit, if you shut your mouth the rest of us, I'm sure, would love to listen to your presentation. Is that gum attacking you? Are you giving it a good beat-down, eh? Could you please discipline your gum when you aren't trying to speak at the same time?
Honestly.
I just want to punch every kitten in the room when I hear smacking, slurping, chewing, and loud, abrasive swallowing.
All we ask is that you shut your mouths. At least when you're within eight feet of us.

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