Friday, February 28, 2014

An Ode to Video Games

By special request from my husband Perry Craig Hayter, I present to you: 

An Ode to Video Games 

A polite and gracious nod to Nintendo and to Sony,
My only beef with them is that they're taking all my money. 
The problem that I have, you see, is with a different set,
Those damned Italian plumbers and their damsel in distress. 

Don't even get me started on how hard it is to find
That Zelda they're all looking for in oca-something-time.
If Blizzard would produce their games without so much delay,
My husband wouldn't waste his time on NBA2K.

Those gory zombie shooters sure all look the same to me,
And what's a "free roam map" and an "online PVP?"
That World of Warcraft sure is long; it takes over your life,
And that's why all the guys online will never have a wife.

And then you've got your Batman and your Call of Duty 3,
Though neither take as long to win as that Assassin's Creed.
I cannot deal with Skyrim and I'm dreading ESO,
I want to scratch the Starcraft disk and shatter Diablo.

My husband cannot look away from the computer screen,
He stays up all night long collecting coins like a machine.
These characters and games, I think, are such a waste of time,
Though I do get a good night's sleep when our whole bed is mine!

If you're not a gamer (or married to one) this may not make any sense. I wrote this as a joke to my husband after a long week of new-game obsession, but I want to disclaim it by letting you all know how much I love him even though he loves video games a little too much!!